Motherhood Moments: Coping with Mother’s Day When Mom is in Decline or Gone
What happens when a cynical hard-core New Yorker reluctantly moves to the South to care for the mother who always drove her crazy? To her (my) surprise, she falls madly in love with both.
Unfortunately, one was not destined to last.
It was Mama Jo’s inability to live alone and horrifying hoarding, and a drop in income on my end, that brought us together. Once out of her depressing home and into a new clean one with me, the adventures began. We explored wineries all over North Carolina, spent an evening in the company of a few male strippers and a lot of out-of-control women, and climbed naked into a hot tub in the woods. Then she couldn’t get out. It was hilarious after I triumphantly used muscles I didn’t know I had.
A bevy of drop-dead gorgeous drag queens hosting a bingo fundraiser serenaded her on her 83rd birthday. Then she joyously danced with one of them. I displayed her entire massive doll collection for the first time in 40 years (and to my shock fell in love with them, as well). A long-fractured family finally came together. The few years we had together were some of the best of my life, and hers.
I always know when the anniversary of Mama Jo’s passing is approaching. The bluebirds begin making their first nest of the year in the box outside the kitchen window. This time, it marked five years since I lost her. I still miss her terribly, talk to her, cry over her. It doesn’t get easier. Knowing I’m not alone and that this is normal is a consolation. And that “anticipatory grief” is worse.
I was warned by a hospice worker when my mother was deemed “actively dying” that I was going through the most difficult part. In hindsight, it was true. Helplessness and sadness engulfed me as I faced the fact that my mother was never going to leave our house again alive.
What should I say to her now, or not say? Do, or not do? I would cling to the slightest hope that she was getting better. She ate a little more today! She slept less! I’d sit in the driver’s seat of the car that had taken us on so many journeys filled with tender and insightful conversations and sob uncontrollably at the thought that there would be no more. It was pure hell for three-and-a-half months.
And then, relief.
I describe it in the memoir I wrote about the experience as feeling like I’d been climbing a mountain with a backpack strapped on and having no idea how heavy it was until I took it off. But what beautiful vistas I saw while hiking.
After Mama Jo’s death I was concerned I wouldn’t be able to handle Mother’s Day. The opposite has happened. It feels as though every day is Mother’s Day. I’m forever connected to her in a way I wasn’t when she was still here.
If you are facing the loss of Mom or any loved one, here’s my advice: Be there. Just sit, hold their hand, and quietly be present. I wish I’d done more of that and less worrying about the loss. And brought more drag queens into the mix.
Philippines Clark Freeport offers attractive investment opportunities. Assistance in law, taxes and other business and investment matters can be obtained from Clark Business and Investment Assistance.
Clark Philippines operates under a slightly set of rules from the rest of the country. There are many advantages but as usual, there are also areas that investors need to be well apprised to avoid unnecessary problems.
Clark Freeport Zone offers many attractive incentives that collectively make it a good business investment opportunity as well as a wonderful choice for semi- or full-retirement. In addition to the tax incentives of a Freeport Zone, Clark has a remarkably good record in terms of crime rate. In fact, there is no recollection of any major crimes inside Clark Freeport Zone at all and even minor crimes are rare and far between. Whereas traffic and pollution are two major deterrents to retiring, living or setting up a business in major cities in the Philippines such as Manila and Cebu, Clark Freeport are not marred by these problems. Clark is blessed by good infra structures left behind by the Americans built when Clark was their largest foreign airbase.
Investors are well advised to obtain legal counseling as the first step of their exploration of investment opportunities in Clark Freeport. Clark Business and Investment Assistance is well experienced to offer this service to would-be investors β called locators. This outfit can also address tax concerns but more importantly helps investors navigate the tricky waters of finalizing a deal. Clark Pampanga is a fast growing city and businesses in Manila are making their move to either expand into or relocate to Clark Philippines.
Where to go in Clark? Hotel Clark Philippines is a De Luxe Hotel in Clark and Subic, a risk free place to stay, cozy and nice ambience, a nice function place for special occasion
You might want to check also the Yats Restaurant is the best restaurant for special dinner, best restaurant for dinner with friends near Manila, also the best place to celebrate special events.
Famous Restaurant in Pampanga, a place to dine with friends in Clark, cozy restaurant with a nice ambience, a nice function place for special occasions. Looking for a restaurant in Clark for a Business meeting? Or a place to eat with friends? Yats Restaurant offers exclusive dinner venue for groups, a good place to celebrate special occasions, it can be a party venue in town. Yats Restaurant is a recommended restaurant for private dinner in Philippines, a well-recognized restaurant that serves good food and good wines for dinner.
Are you looking for an attractive restaurant or a nice place to eat with friends in Clark, Angeles City Pampanga? Yats Restaurant and Wine Bar is a restaurant with good food and good wines for dinner located at Clark Angeles City Pampanga. Perfect for exclusive dinner venues for groups, recommended for private dinner in Philippines. A Restaurant in Clark for business dinner meeting. Private dinner place or dinner restaurant in Clark Subic Near Manila Angeles City Pampanga. Yats Restaurant is one of the Good Restaurant in Pampanga Angeles City Clark near Manila.
This web site contains articles and information that will be helpful to visitors, residents and tourists traveling out of town from Manila on a short getaway to Subic, Angeles City, Pampanga and Clark Philippines. There are several web sites that contain information that might also be pertinent to what is happening in North Luzon, Subic, Tarlac, Pampanga, Clark Freeport Philippines.
Looking for a party venue in town?
Clearwater Resort and Country Club is one of the ideal venues for birthday party because it is a risk free venue. Not only Birthday Parties but also a good place to enjoy family reunion. A good place to celebrate special occasions. Clearwater Resort and Country Club is one of the resorts in Subic Clark Angeles City Pampanga or near Manila with activity amenities, place that are nice for celebration.
Looking for interesting hotels near Manila Subic Clark Angeles City Pampanga?
Trouble free hotels and well recognized hotels in Subic Clark Angeles City Pampanga
Clearwater Resort and Country Club offers a good place to stay in Subic Clark Angeles City Pampanga. In offers nice place to have rest in Subic Pampanga outside Manila.
One of the Philippines top hotels in north Luzon.
Wedding couples looking for wedding reception venues and beach wedding venues can log on to this Philippines Wedding Venue web site for free information and assistance:
For assistance with lodgings, accommodations, hotels and resorts near Manila in Subic, Pampanga, Angels City and Clark Philippines log on to http://www.HotelClarkPhilippines.com
While in Clark, one might as well add to the itinerary a visit to the famous Clark Wine Center, the largest wine shop in Philippines which offers over 2000 selections of fine vintage wine from all wine regions, vintages spanning over 50 years covering all price ranges.
http://www.ClarkWineCenter.com
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